Teardrops. Chapter. 2

Teardrops.
Chapter 2.
"Stupid Shem" I muttered, still ruffled from my 'ride' here. After my spit he had hauled me over his shoulder and carried me back, we saw no more of the darkspawn, in fact, he seemed to know where they were, I was still surprised due to the fact I was kicking and screaming, unfortunately that scared the wolves away. He had snatched my bow, then my dar'misu when I used them to hit him. The only words spoken were complimenting how I never gave up, even when we were at the outskirts of the Dalish camp.
The Keeper and Duncan talked nearby, behind me. The rain was less heavy then what it had been, but I'd been in the middle of it the whole time. A small sneeze escaped my lips and I wrinkled my nose.

'Careful Asri, wouldn't want to blow down a tree.'
I shuddered, Tamlen joked at everything I did, good or bad, it made my worst failures seem so much better.

"Bless you" A shy voice murmured. I looked up. "Hey Fenarel." I murmured. "M--may I ask what happened, Th—the Grey warden carried you in screaming, sor—sorta like Rika... but louder... and conscious. " I looked away, scowling at the loss of dignity. "The bloody brute wouldn't take no for an answer." I said simply. "Oh..." Fenarel shied, "Why do you always act like that near me?! I won't bite!" I snapped. "Oh! Um... because..." He seemed even more nervous than before. And for some reason he was blushing.

"I see, thankyou Duncan." The Keeper said quietly before turning towards me. Fenarel squeaked and ran off. "Bah!" I spat to his retreating figure.

"Da'len" The Keeper murmured in greeting. "I didn't kill anybody! That stupid Shem stopped me!" I protested immediately.  The Keeper looked surprised for a moment. "This isn't about that but you know most of us disapprove of you hunting the humans."  "Rika did it! I saw her! Wait... what is this about then?" I asked, looking at her curiously.
"I have some news Da'len. You have a disease that I cannot cure. Duncan has offered to take you with him to get the cure, but you must join the Grey Warden ranks." She said quietly. Duncan watched from further behind. I shot him a nasty glare, he didn't even flinch, and I growled and turned back to the Keeper. "No way in hell." I snarled, "But Da'len! It will save you!" She protested. "I rather become a go... goal...ghoul like... like...."

"Run Asriel!"

Tamlen..... I thought miserably. "Da'len! Please! For the clan!" She begged. "The clan? Their sending me away!" I shouted. Duncan watched a worried look on his face. "I haven't even earned my Vallaslin yet!!!" Vallaslin was a sort of ritual I was promised I'd go through 'when I was ready. It involved cleansing the skin and tattooing the face. It was done by the Keeper of the clan and sounds of pain meant you weren't ready.
I stuck up my chin. Challenging her.

"Duncan told me of the fight you went through with him coming back, the fight you went through before. You have more than earned it Da'len. We even have time to do it before Tamlen's funeral, before you go." "Funeral?! But he's not dead! How dare you think of such a thing!!!?" I screamed. Earning several stares, many people were used to my behaviour, but still... "He is beyond hope Da'len, and we must leave soon, we will hold a service in his memory..."  The Keeper answered calmly, used to my spits.
"No promises I'm going." I humphed. "That is the best I will get out of you I suppose." She sighed.  "It's like bargaining with a child" Duncan murmured to himself.

***

"Are you ready?"  The Keeper asked.  "Obviously." I retorted. "Are you sure you want this pattern, usually we use the pattern of one of our gods." "I am certain Keeper. This is the pattern that I will show the world." I said, calming down at last. She sighed heavily, and began.

It stung like hell though I remained calm as she followed the tear line down my cheeks with a deep black ink. Behind her, Rika gossiped with two other girls, laughing, she glanced back and scowled until I looked away. Duncan watched from near the Keepers Araval, or cart. The rain made the process that much harder, and I held back several sneezes until the Keeper used a basic spell to lessen my cold for the time being. As I glanced over at Rika again, I realised something. If I went with Duncan... then I could escape from her. Her mocking glares and smirks, her violent demeanour, her cruel ways...  I could be free, As soon as I got the cure from that stupid Shem I could be on my way, and look for Tamlen without a clan telling me not to kill all the Shemlen out there...  I held back a large grin at the idea, gritting my teeth against the pain of the needle injecting ink into my skin.

***

"I'll go." I said bluntly after the final part of the Vallaslin ritual.  "Wait, what?" The Keeper asked, genuinely surprised. "I'll go with the blasted Shem." I said. "Really?" She asked. "Yes! Can we hurry before I change my mind?" I snapped. "Oh, yes, certainly Da'len." The Keeper nodded, moving over to Duncan, he smiled at me I gave him a vicious scowl back.

The bonfire started to blaze and I made my way over, the Keeper still talking to Duncan, most likely giving advice on how to handle me. "How—how did your Vallaslin go?" Fenarel asked. "Fine. Why?" I said grumpily before letting out a large sneeze. "Oh... no reason... why are you upset?" He asked. "Because I have to leave this clan because the bloody Shem won't give me some stupid cure!" I snapped... "Weird, he made the same deal with Rika..." Fenarel trailed. "Wait... what!?" I yelled. "Ri—Rika... she's going." Fenarel stammered.

I turned to the Keeper, glaring angrily. She looked confused. "Bah!" I spat, I'll discuss it later.  "If—if you're leaving... then maybe I should tell you—"I went ahead as the ceremony began, ignoring the blushing Fenarel.
***
I stormed up to her; she turned from Duncan at my approach. "Where is your pack Da'len?" The Keeper asked. "I'm not going and all the archdemons from the centre of the black city could not make me!" I yelled. "Wh-why?" She asked, if I was like this, the knife was next. "Cause that stupid, bitchy, slut RIKA is going!" I spat the name. "She is tainted as are you Da'len. She must go as well." The Keeper reasoned. "Then she can die a gruesome death! Or go with the Shem! As long as I am not anywhere near HER!" I spat.
"Asriel—"Duncan intervened.  

"YOU have no right to use my name you SHEM!" I snarled. "I dragged you kicking and screaming from the forest, I can do it again." He threatened. "I would rather DIE than go with the likes of you SHEM" I spat, storming off into my Aravel. A wooden cart decorated on the outside with a mask of a god on the right side of the intricately decorated ironbark sides, wheels also made of ironbark suspended the medium cart a good two feet off the ground. A deep green cover slung just above the small door, it clattered down, the poles collapsing as I slammed the door. "Let me talk to her Duncan before you get to the right of conscription" The Keeper said quietly, following me.

Inside Two beds lay squashed against opposite walls, once there were more, but that time had long past. Tamlen's bed lay empty and cold with the book on Dalish history he had read to me last night, its pages yellow with age, his sheets were a forest green, as were mine, died Halla fur, woven with great patience by the weavers in the village. My bed had pictures of a happy family hanging above it, a time before Rika came along. On a hook slung a pendent hanging by thin yet strong silver, the ironbark seed had gently curving patterns woven along the outside with 'Asriel scratched in the middle, a present from Tamlen from my fifth birthday. At the end of each bed lay a small set of drawers, on top of mine lay a book on fairytales Tamlen used to read to me and a bloody arrow and a small black pouch filled with coppers, retrieved from my first kill of a Shem, on his lay a carving knife and several items used for cleaning and mending weapons and armour. Between the two was a thick canvas screen and on the floor lay a thick bearskin rug, I sat in there, tracing the patterns on my new bow, a proper hunters bow, I knew I didn't deserve it, that was why I had tattoo's in the form of tears on my face, because I was a coward.
I was sitting on my bed, back against the drawer when the door opened. I jumped.  "Tam?" I called hopefully. "Da'len" A sorrowful voice answered. She sat gently on my bed in front of me, brushing hair out of my eye. "Da'len, you must go, you must get past your differences with Rika, for your good as well as hers. What would your parents want?"I though back to mine and Tam's long dead parents, killed by Shemlen and the cursed city elf flat ears. "They would want me to kill every Shem out there!" I snarled. "Da'len, please, you must go, we do not want to see you suffer" "You rather see me with the kind that stole our homeland!? Never," I hissed, holding the bow tight. "That's a hunters bo-- Where did you get that?" She exclaimed. I held it tighter, mouth shut, she sighed, inspecting it briefly. "Tamlen's?" I looked away.

"You were there!" She claimed. "What of it?" I spat back. "The Shem was there too! Tam wasn't far! He was in there and he abandoned him!" I snarled! "Da'len, he saved who he could, I will not question why you left Tamlen yourself, though I will bring it up in the point you made about Duncan abandoning him." She said calmly. "He could fight an ogre! I couldn't! What of it!?" I yelled. "A... ogre?" The Keeper asked. "I faced it, then Tam... he told me to go, so I did!" I looked down, my eyes started to water again.
"It pains me to see one of our daughters leave us da'len. Take this ring; I was going to give it to Rika. But..." The Keeper said. "Why!? I'm not going! I won't go." I snapped. Looking down again, rough linen bandages clung to my right side, red with blood. I should change that later...

"Duncan!" She called, desperate, he opened the door slightly, I jumped up then. "GET OUT!" I yelled, throwing a book at him, he closed the door quickly, checking before he stepped in again. The Keeper held me to stop me grabbing another book, or my knife.... or my bow. "I hereby invoke the—"I yelled hundred curses. "GET OUTTA HIS HOME!!!!" tears followed the tattoo down my cheeks. 'His home...' I repeated in my mind. "I hereby invoke the right of conscription." He said hastily. "And... I... witness it...." The Keeper grunted as I struggled. "YOU CAN"T MAKE ME GO SHEM!!!" I screamed.

I was still screaming the whole time as Duncan held me while the Keeper moved around the Aravel, putting things in my pack that she knew I'd want or need. The armour and weapon gear, the books on my drawers and Tamlen's bed, the pouch of coins, the ironbark pendent, the keepers ring, and various other things.  I tried to bite him once, that as a failure, I kicked... lower down... that failed too. I screamed and I hit, spitting a thousand curses.

I was still screaming as he took me outside, everyone looked; in fact, a crowd had gathered, my vision as blurry as I sobbed, someone I couldn't see tried to come over and help me, but they were stopped. Someone covered the ears of their children as I screamed more curses. I kicked and screeched and yelled and beat.

I was still screaming when he and Rika met at the path away, Rika snickered and asked an obvious question. "She's coming with us?" She smirked over my yelling. He nodded, trying to avoid another punch. "You should tie her up, it'd be easier." She said. He shook his head.

The Keeper and the rest of the clan waved forlornly as I screamed and kicked, Rika waved back, winking at Fenarel, who frowned and looked to me, to whom he smiled, I stopped my screaming for a moment to scowl, if he likes me enough to smile, then he could save me! He frowned and I continued to scream and yell.

***

My wound had just stopped bleeding as the forest disappeared over the horizon, and I was weak and dizzy from both blood loss and cold and my throat was red raw by the time we were well away from the forest.

I broke into a fit of coughing. Then I just cried. Rika scoffed and complained of a headache. Duncan murmured an apology directed at me. "If you were so sorry Shem" I spat "Than you'd let me go back!" "We all have our duty Asriel; we all have to make choices for the better, even though that may not be what they seem at the time."  To that I grew silent for a while.

We stopped for a break around then; Duncan was exhausted from carrying me and I was coughing violently, my nose was bright red, and I was sneezing in between coughing fits, the sun was also starting to set and Duncan warned us against predators.

The clearing was small, surrounded by marshy undergrowth, it was a small island-extension off the path and Rika immediately got to finding dry wood for a fire. I sniffled in the light overcast drizzle that had not stopped.

The second he put me down I bolted. Running as fast as I could in the first direction my feet found. I'd find my way home later, even lost in a thick bog I'd find my way, when the stupid Shem couldn't find me.

Duncan got me in an instant, swooping me back into his arms roughly. He grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face him. I spat in his face. He raised his hand. Finally I'd made him snap; I was used to slaps though, just not with heavy plate gloves. Rika snickered from behind me, watching the entertainment.

Slowly Duncan put down his arm, wiping away the saliva dripping from his nose. I was slightly disappointed. He asked Rika to get some rope tied me up tightly; I struggled for half an hour before the coughing made my chest hurt.

The large fire was built near me, close enough to shelter me from the cold, but at a safe distance. Either Rika or Duncan was watching me, I was fed the meagre meal by Rika who slammed the plate on the ground and told me to do it myself after the first attempt, resulting in food on her face.

I still didn't eat though, I would let myself starve, and I turned my head away from it and looked at the sky to further my point. "Is that how you honour your brother? You try and kill yourself?" Duncan snapped from across the fire. Rika smothered a laugh, Duncan glared at her.

"I dishonour him by associating with SHEMS" I spat. He flinched.  I lay down and shut my eyes, holding back the deep flow of tears. "She's more trouble than she's worth" Rika told him. "No, everyone deserves a chance at life, everyone struggles to be their best, even she, if anything, and she deserves more."

I pretended to sleep as they discussed watches, Rika would go first, and waken him at midnight; I was left out, for obvious reasons. Struggling to hold back coughs, I longed for Duncan's shift, early, when he just arose, I could somehow manage to escape, as I wriggled my hand, trying to reach my knife. Duncan retired to his small brown bedroll as I struggled silently on.

Rika came over nearly an hour after Duncan retired, rolled me over with her foot and slapped me. I winced. "You insolent brat! How dare you spit at me!" She snarled. "I'd do it again you whore" I snarled back.  She slapped me again, harder; it left a vivid red mark on my cheek. I whimpered plaintively. She leaned in close and I cringed away from her mocking form. "You won't do it again though, will you?" She snarled, I scowled, working the saliva in my mouth before projecting it at her.

"You little bitch!" She cried out, she kicked me and I could feel the deep claw wounds I got from that darkspawn reopen and start bleeding again, I groaned before falling into silence, trying to remain conscious as tears streamed down my face, a light rain started to fall, I shivered convulsively and she laughed mockingly. I could not see her though; my face was stuffed into the mud of the marsh. But of course, the worst happened. "A hunters -- That's Tamlen's bow! You thief!" She cried out, snatching it off my back. I wriggled around. "Give... it... back!" I snapped, "You were there! Weren't you? Yet you didn't save him, you coward, you left your brother to die and stole his bow! You don't deserve this!" She accused, "But of course, I already have one so..." She laughed, throwing it into the bushes and I yelled out. She smirked and walked back over to the fire.

Slowly, I attempted to crawl through the dark, scratchy undergrowth where I had seen my bow land. But a sharp pain in my side prevented me. My bandages slowly grew wetter and redder. I nestled my head into the dirt, sobbing. "Fuck you Rika, I hope the Darkspawn take you" I rasped, before sinking into the Fade.