What if...

    Song and sword.

    I was lost amongst the darkness.

    I couldn't escape, the depressing thick clouds of forever smothered me and held me down.

    I couldn't even scream.

    Tamlen was here somewhere? Right? He was lost too! I saw him before, screaming my name and reaching out over a gap that not even a Halla could leap, not even a dragon could fly over.

    Except the one that sang. That one came for us all the time, singing a beautiful song and promising release if we followed it. It was so beautiful with gleaming midnight scales and pure white eyes with beautiful silver pupils.

    It was dark in between the visits from the beautiful dragon. I missed it sorely, it was so dark here and everything hurt, but when the dragon came, I could see and feel and breathe.

    Other people followed, there was a big crowd and they all struggled to reach the surface of the big cave where the beautiful one took us. Thats where she wanted us to go. It wasn't as dark anymore when we followed.

    Tamlen told me what we were doing was bad, but the people we killed were Shemlen... the taint we spread was pure.

    No-one could tell us what to do, only the beautiful one, who sung us pretty songs and let us plunder the villages. Tamlen was wrong and the beautiful dragon was right. How could the beautiful dragon ever be wrong?

    But Tamlen was good too, he was the one who touched the mirror, he was the one who led us to the beautiful dragon. Tamlen was good at that, but he wasn't good at following orders. This made the beautiful dragon sad, it asked me to talk to my friend, to make him be nice to the beautiful dragon. So I did, of course I did, how could I ever say no to the beautiful dragon?

    "No! We have to fight this! Whatever it is!" Tamlen cried, retreating further into his hole.

    "But the beautiful dragon is nice Tamlen, it frees us from the limits of our previous self, it makes us stronger than we were before! We can win back our land!" I replied sternly, how couldn't he understand? I grabbed him and shook him violently, I would make him understand!

    He cried out in pain. "See how weak you are Tamlen! The beautiful dragon wants us to attack some people who are mean to it. We need to help her so she can help us! Then you can be stronger too! Just like me!" I yelled.

    "Lethallan... look what you've done to yourself. Don't call me weak when you can't resist the urge of the one that sings." Tamlen gasped.

    I stopped shaking, letting him drop weakly to the ground and took a moment to see myself... claws... I had claws... my hands were black... with wiked black claws... and my legs were hunched, they had claws too. I was like an animal, fierce and strong.

    "I'm better Tamlen, you could be too! This is how the Dalish were meant to be!" I cried.

    "Lethallan! This is never how we were meant to be! You're more monster than elf!" Screamed Tamlen, he tried to shake me, but I was strong. Stupid elf, why won't he listen?

    I picked him up by the scruff of his neck and he screamed in agony as my claws pierced his his delicate flesh, letting sark red blood flow over my claws. "Listen to the beautiful dragon Tamlen! Hear her sing! Tell me I was wrong for following somethng so beautiful!" I shrieked, a loud ear piercing shriek. I shook him again, his head flew around weakly.

    "Fine!" he screamed, struggling for breath. I dropped him and he fell to his knees. I smiled a cruel, wicked smile. But it was all I could manage.

    "Come on then Tamlen! Let's help the beautiful dragon!" I laughed, dragging his reluctent form after me.

    I had a good feeling about this mission! It was like the beautiful dragon was flying with us! I knew Tamlen would definitely be good after this!

    ***

    I was strong, we were strong, but they were stronger. How come they were stronger? How could they beat me? The beautiful dragon said she would protect us. It's children, why would the beautiful dragon lie?

    Tamlen didn't help, he stood to the side, only once did he lash out, and it was only when the half tainted one came over.

    I tried to help, but I could only manage to drag myself over there, lashing out feebly with wicked claws. Tamlen screamed as he was cut down. He landed near me and I grabbed his hand, holding on desperately.

    "I'm so sorry Lethallin." I whispered.

    He nodded slowly. "You should be." He croaked. That hurt, a lot...

"But now we're truly free Lethallan, we can finally be together with all the creators..." he said after catching his breath, I noticed the emphasise on 'together' I noticed the small smile on his face as he squeezed my hand. And I saw myself in the reflection of his watery eyes. The person, no, the monster that Tamlen saw. And I hated it.

    The half tainted one stood over us, sword bloody, he looked confused, until someone called him over, and with a final glance he ran off. I wished he would come back, it was lonely here, but I had Tamlen. Tamlen would help me get to the creators and Tamlen would help me become me again. We could be together.

    "Together." I repeated out loud, both as a reply and a promise. I squeezed his hand gently, one final time.